A tale of life and the one I want to have, as seen in my closet...

What is it with women’s clothes? There are trends, styles, and shoes that are meant to go with this one specific pair of pants that only look right with this one shirt that literally goes with nothing else, but you needed it for an event, so here we are. Don’t even get me started on undergarments. Men have it easy, I feel like so much of their closet is a variation of the same, but for us women, HA it's an evolving mountain of clothes and ways to wear them. 

But I'm working on moving into an RV, and having a meltdown in the process. 

Here's where it all started…

Standing in front of the tiny closet in our home, you know, the one I have been trying to organize to fit all my clothes for years, yet somehow there's nothing in there I want to wear for the activity we're doing today. There are ball gown skirts for that special occasion dinner we didn't even attend last year. Remnants of work clothes from the school year I probably wouldn't wear otherwise, and sweaters. Why on Earth do I have so many sweaters in my closet when it's July is beyond me.

The thing, though, is that none of these things represent how I want to look or how I live my life when I'm not attached to a specific activity, except the sweaters.

Every part of my being believes in being cozy bathed in natural light, and snuggled up doing a silent activity if I'm not off exploring. Call it the introvert in me; call it slow living; call it what you want, its just me.

So, what do I default to? My rompers, which I adore, are mostly dirty today, hidden in the mound of laundry, and I haven't washed them this week. There is redemption: my favorite drawstring shorts and a button-down long-sleeve shirt are clean. So, putting the ensemble on, I halfway unbutton the shirt, roll up the sleeves, tuck it partially into the shorts, crack open my jewelry box, and put on my regular stacked gold necklaces and rings. Boom, an outfit for the day that's comfy and feels at home.

Of course, in retrospect, the outfit I wanted for who I am was hidden behind the facade of those dedicated to the life I have been living all along. Clothes can be described as one of two things: a mask you wear time and time again because that's what's expected of you or a true representation of your inner self and your hopes, desires, and ambitions. 

Think about it for a moment. We wear "Work clothes," a series of things that are deemed appropriate for working in a specific capacity. These rules and standards change according to the field in which a person works, but it is still a box we have to fit in, which we often think nothing about. Then what? We come home and change those clothes into something more "comfortable." My spirit doesn’t flourish in a box, so why should my wardrobe be a series of boxes to check?

On the journey to living tiny, I made a conscious decision early on: I refuse to own a storage unit for clothes.

Paddleboards, yes; camping gear, yes; clothes, absolutely not. I might want a unique piece for something that comes up, but I love comfort, put-togetherness, and versatility in what I wear. I'm still 100% a girly girl in all the ways, but I like to be fashionably comfy. It's just as easy to hop on a bike or walk 5 miles as it is to go to dinner or lounge around reading a book in the same outfit. Plus, if I’m completely honest with myself, I won’t have the space for all these things. Taking it a step further, this is a task with a job that I need to be business casual for and a booming vacation schedule.

I'm a bandaid-ripping girl, though, so I'm starting here.

If I can live with the reduction of clothes NOW, it'll be much easier when we officially move into our 300 sq. foot domicile with a dog and two cats. Plus, I started taking a photo of myself every day. It sounded frivolous initially, but it turned out to be a powerful tool for self-discovery, helping me understand what I go back to and what I like about myself in that piece.

Don't get me wrong; just because I want to be small doesn't mean I want to look awful; I still want to be cute, but dwindling to precisely what I need takes time and effort.

Looking at this wardrobe, there are some things I could do without, specifically colors that aren't for me. I know better than to eliminate one box and put myself into another, but I also know a small space means a small wardrobe and you have to start somewhere. 

Let's talk color and style, shall we?

I hate white. I love how it looks on me, but honestly, I’ll just stain it and barely wear it as a rule of thumb because it's so easy to ruin. It's great for layering, but other colors can be, too. Did I mention the unsung rule of menopause? I sweat. I can’t help it, but hot flashes are real, and I don’t need that reflected in my attire. So if it's white (or should be because the shirt I'm looking at definitely has a stain), it can go.

Also, yellow is not for me. I keep telling myself this lie: I can wear yellow; it's bright and cheerful, and it looks good, but the moment I am either A. dry because it's winter or B. glance at the sun, I look like a bumblebee in yellow. I'm not too fond of it on me, so let's stop perpetuating lies to ourselves rather than manifesting them in physical items that ust take up unnecessary space, K.

I don't hate black, but I don't like wearing it. It's a neutral staple in so many wardrobes, but deep in my brain, I still associate it with darkness, and well, to put it plainly, I'm dark enough. I don't need more. I won't ban the color by any means, but less is more in this arena. I keep a couple of staples. A black tank top here, a little black dress there, a black pair of yoga pants, leggings, you know, things that are easy to layer with another color.

Camel or light brown are the best neutral, in my opinion. I end up with everything from sweaters to jackets to tank tops and t-shirts in this color scheme, and it just feels luxe on me, no matter what. I'm here for that. Something about it being warm against my skin and not too stark does it for me, no matter the season.

I love pink, blue, and green. Going through my clothes, I noticed that nearly 75% of what I own and actually wear follow this color scheme in some form or another. I have no idea when that color combination became my home, but it is. Fun fact: those colors remind me most of being outside, and pink has been my favorite color forever; the other two are like my auxiliary colors. Even when I did a color personality test earlier this year, it said I was a pink and green girl. Funny how that works.

Ribbed or fitted shirts have to go. Yes, I wear them occasionally, but I'm not a big fan of them on me. They put my, ahem, assets on display and simultaneously show off the belly roll I've been working to eliminate, so they sit in my closet, barely touched unless I absolutely must. Say it with me, Waste Of Space, just a great big NOPE.

I love anything with a bra built right in, especially if it doesn't have one of those bra pad things that come out in the washing machine. It's a freedom ordeal and a multi-season help. I have this black tank (see black but necessary) from Duluth Trading Company, which is four years old, and I ADORE it. I honestly wear it as a layering piece with something every week, and recently, I just invested in two more. Yes, they are expensive, but if it holds up (which they do), it's worth it.

So now you're probably wondering… what on Earth is this girl's style, exactly?

If I had to give it a name, my style would be Cozy but Adventurous and Outdoorsy, with a hint of Prep and a dash of That Girl. Sounds like a mouthful, but have you met me? Even online, I can be alot. It's pretty much a description of who I am as a person. I have always believed in comfort and love to travel on little adventures/trips. I'm super outdoorsy because I LOVE to do things outside. I'm slightly preppy and into my daily routines like the “that girl” movement.

That's where I am right now, and I don't see it changing as it took a long time to get here, weeding my way into where I want to be. It's a metaphor for this journey and the turn that comes with it in more ways than one. Plus, the perfect wardrobe isn't one you can throw together on a weekend. It's a result of the people and experiences that shape you as a person into your true self. It will take time to uncover it, just in time to fold it up neatly into one tiny closet and roll down the road.